In Memoriam

My surrogate mother passed away this week. Her funeral was yesterday. She was my dad's sister, my favorite aunt. She bonded with me after my birth since my Mother was ill and couldn't. (Mom recovered after a year.) I have always depended on her for answers and help. Well at least until the past years when she was unable to think clearly. She was a very caring woman with very high principles. As she neared the end she still did not believe she was good enough to go to heaven. If that was true then there is no hope for me.

She was the port in the storm, the one with the spare change. She was the ear for listening and the shoulder for crying. She had the good advice I didn't always follow, then wished I had. She loved her family, her siblings and their children and their children's children. Sometimes she said no because she knew that was the right answer. She really loved us all.

She loved to laugh and we used to giggle into the night. Her wit was loved by many because it was self deprecating or kind. She didn't use sarcasm often. She wasn't afraid to point out that something was wrong, that you needed to make a better choice. She helped when we needed someone to stay with us. She helped her mother in her last days. She helped her younger siblings when her father died. It was never all about her, but this is.

I will miss her kindness, her gentle ways, but she will be there in my memories. Nudging me toward the right choice and loving me. I will try to let her rest in peace.