Laughing Eyes

This was going to be a long blah on my recent activities but I changed my mind. I can do that. I was 46 before I became aware of that fact. Before that I thought I had to stick to whatever decision I made but all that did was cause me to avoid decisions then blame my husband for the way things turned out. I have since given up both. Sticking to decisions and my first husband. I have a second husband and so far that decision is one I want to stick with.

Last week we had a funeral service for my sister who died in March. She suffered from MS and eventually was weakened by pneumonia and died. She was 5 years my junior and I can't help thinking about how it could have been me . It is a mystery why some people suffer so much and others don't. Take that back, I suffer watching others suffer. It isn't the same thing, I know, but I seem to be given that lot. I once read about how some people are sensitive and I definitely qualify as a sensitive. When someone describes surgery I feel the pain and I don't mean figuratively. I feel it.

Alice, my sister, was a lovely person with laughing eyes. Even when she couldn't move anything but her face and mouth she had those eyes. Her son has them too and maybe her granddaughter. I reserve judgement until she is at least a year. When Alice was young and working she must have been a flirt. She had dimples and a natural beauty, dark lashes and brows. Dark curly hair and of course, dark laughing eyes. She wasn't as tall as myself or Phyllis, my other sister. She was smaller all around. When she met Vin. that was it. No turning back wedding bells were gonna ring. He caused a stir because my dad had always been against marrying outside the race and he wasn't even German. But he was ok with Vin and who couldn't be? He was such a fair, non-violent, pleasant man.

So many years have passed, so many things have happened. Alice leaves behind Vin, Ben, Kisha and Lisa. Some thinks she left before Lily so she could help prepare her coming. If Lily keeps those laughing eyes, I will have trouble believing otherwise.