Forgive and forget

Mother's Day is past, thank God. Neither of my two sons came by or called. Didn't expect it. They are busy feeling sorry for themselves and hating me. They think I should have acted more like a friend and less like a mother. Loved them too much to do that.

This is to all of you out there who think they hate their parents or parent. Someone told me that to show a parent hatred you must think they love you enough to overlook it. Not so sure I love them that much. At any rate I want to let you parent haters know a few things. You may have good reason I don't know your circumstances, I can only go on my own. I was angry with my dad for years but was able to make peace with him before he died. I am so grateful for that. I wish I could have done it sooner but it happened and that is what matters. You may not get the chance to do this if you wait too long. Or if your parent dies suddenly. You may be haunted the rest of your life by the guilt you carry for leaving things unsettled.

If you have children they may treat you worse than you are treating your folks. If not they will lack respect for you. Most of your anger is based on a fantasy you created or a premise to hold you back from what you are afraid to do. i.e. I blamed my dad for encouraging me to leave college before I finished, years later I realized I was free to go to school and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He didn't care, life was different by then. When you carry bitterness and hatred toward another you are the one who is hurt. My granddaughters don't see me because their father is a really confused but rather than make life more turbulent for him and his girls I will stay away and hope for a miracle.

I pray he will resolve this insanity and make peace with me. As for the other son I hope the same for him.