Past and the Present all headed into the future.

Is anybody out there?

I haven't heard back from anyone lately and I was wondering if anyone was reading my blog. If you are please comment it could just be a yeah or a mmmn. Just so I know I'm not living in a vacuum.

Good weekend, survived the socializing rather well. Told the great guy Stan that we wouldn't have anyone over for a while since I started tearing the wall out of the dining room. But now I'm reconsidering, if no one sees the mess how are they going to appreciate the remodel. Anyway I am tearing out the dining room walls, love to tear down since I get so frustrated trying to build anything. I nearly had a stroke trying to remove a shelf brace with the power driver yesterday. It kept slipping off the screw head until I finally tore the wall out around it and hammered it off. That's another nice thing about destruction over construction.

Glad to have spent time with Latin Rapunzel and Mama Gorda this holiday. They are equally crazy in their own way. Hope Mama finds some answers and relaxes. Latin will always view life from the level of the princess. She still waits for the car door to be opened by her boyfriend. Can you believe it?? We (Latin, her guy and my great guy and me) all toured the antique store (huge). The town has many Amish near by so it isn't unusual to see them with their horse and buggy on main street, you also have to watch where you walk,(horse poo poo). The store has antique furniture arrranged in rooms, dining room with old china on the table, bedrooms, living rooms etc. So you can stand in the bedroom and look at the horse passing outside. It puts you back a century. Driving home we went past their homes, it seemed pristine not having electric wires and poles cluttering the landscape. The only obstruction were fences. It seemed like another world.

But it's Tuesday now and I can't find my favorite earring because my granddaughter(many hats) spent the night. I miss an earring almost every time she comes. Of course she was never upstairs and has no idea where it could be. Tonite I will super clean the bedroom, Stan found one on the floor so maybe....

Remember, I need to know there is someone out there.

Spirit of a Butterfly

My friend Evonne said I wasn't writing in my blog of late. She has a point. I just haven't been motivated but today I have some interest, so here goes. My sister just emailed that her husband was in the hospital, the guy with the broken leg. Seems he has an infection. They are trying to get it under control. Hope he is ok, he didn't have a broken leg when he went in the last time. He has been there most of the week. There is no word on when he will be released. Sometimes it makes me angry that two such good people have so much to endure (my sister and her husband) but maybe I'll be burning a long time in hell while they are floating around in heaven.

Just talked with my eldest. He said his youngest (two year old Stephanie) was pouring dog food from one dog dish to another then using a little broom to stir it. He said she has given up eating it. That is encouraging. When I was there Saturday he asked her if she wanted to clean her room. She looked up with her earnest blue eyes and said "No thank you, daddy." Got to love em.

Long weekend coming up. Plan to buy more annual flowers for the yard. Need red and yellow peppers for the garden. Basil and other herbs. I use basil around the front porch to keep away mosquitos. With the recent rains the ground should be soft.
Well as I said in the beginning I had some interest but I think it is running out. Have a good Memorial Day.

My favorite animal, not this one in particular but all cows. They are quiet and appear to be in or close to meditation most of the time. I think chewing their cud is their mantra. They aren't in a rush to get anywhere and they are very good at itching mosquito bites with their tongues. (Figure that one out.)

Spirit of a Butterfly

Beautiful Sunday here. My nose is healing nicely. Today I invited people to join us after church for brunch. There were only a few in attendance so it was an easy meal to fix. I wanted to show off the new kitchen and all the good work my great guy had done. Everyone had nice things to say and were impressed with the rest of the house also. The house that grew up has many interesting corners and nooks not to mention decks and views. That was without seeing the view from the loony bin(or pig barn). Later I hope to get my great guy to go with me to visit my sister and her husband. He recently broke his leg after a stay in the hospital for another problem. Since he has no feeling from the third vertebrae down he wasn't aware of his leg breaking at the hip. The orthopedic man who saw him said surgery was not recommended and that he would do better to heal on his own. Since there is no pain it wouldn't be a problem. He has been down for some time because of the original problem. Now he can be up 2 hours a day. He has more patience than I do. For all of you moaners and groaners out there, consider trading places with him. Anyway we are hoping to pick up a cane plant my sisterinlaw left for me. Also I want to see them. The priest today spoke of being invited into Christ's house and made to feel that it was ok to hang out for a while. That we could think of Jesus as our sibling (or brother). That we are loved in spite of what we do. Interesting, I think He would have to kick me out at closing time. Well the day continues.

Spirit of a Butterfly

Yesterday was different. I had surgery to remove a skin cancer on my nose. Following surgery we waited together for our biopsy reports. There were people there with bandages on thier nose, their ear, their eye. Some of them had to go back 2 and 3 times to have more cancer removed. Among those waiting was an old man who said he was born in 1926. His son was with him and he appeared to be in his 50's. His son had a sharp wit, and came up with comments that sent the group into laughter. The time went by quickly since we were able to entertain each other. Why cry when you can laugh. We learned later that the wise cracker was a Ronald McDonald for our area. He began joking about ordering a pizza and the doctor heard it. Doc came back and asked what kind of pizza we wanted because he was ordering for us. He said we had gone past time and he owed us something. When the pizza arrived someone commented that this was the first time he had pizza in a doctor's office. We all agreed. Fortunately I was free of more cancer cells and went home without further surgery. Looking back I can see how that time could have been tense and anxious. Instead it flew by and we had a good time.

Spirit of a Butterfly

No rain today. It has rained for a week. My husband told me he was impressed with Bush's speech last night. That is a landmark. It may be the first speech that impressed him. This immigration thing is so ridiculous. All these fat cats deciding how some poor (5.00 an hr.) Mexican should have stayed starving in Mexico until he could amass 2,000.00 + to buy papers to get into this country. Like that's going to happen. If things were so good where he was why did he risk everything to come here. They aren't criminals they are looking for the same thing most immigrants are looking for, a better life. Leave them alone. Theyare hardworking people. I see them everyday at my job. They care about their families. They are more interested in school activities than a lot of their American counterparts. Maybe if some of our senators and congressmen could get off their soapboxes and mingle they would get it.

Happy Mother's Day!!

Spirit of a Butterfly

She used to say
“I’m as changeable as the wind.”
Did she ride the air
In brightly colored wings?

Oh to do just that.

Yesterday I spent part of the day with my 93 year old aunt who has memory that roams. She thinks she has to care for her mom who died over 40 years ago but she can't remember she ordered a hamburger 3 minutes ago. I return her to her home and she says who lives here. It must be confusing to think like she does. She has her logic most of the time and knows what won't work. She doesn't have the right time zone. It is sad to watch when I remember the capable woman she was.

The house that grew up.

Our latest dog addition Hilda and her friend Gus. Hilda is the white shephard.

Spirit of a Butterfly

Spirit of a Butterfly

Where has she gone
Locked inside herself,
Was she ever really there
Or only the spirit of a butterfly?

Are we ever really there? Or are we just another's perception. When I look into to the mirror do I see the me you see? And who is the me I've locked inside.

Spirit of a Butterfly

Rain Tears
In the silence of early morning
Broken only by the steady drumming
Of rain on the roof
Puddles grow larger

In the soothing symphony
Of rain's monotonous regularity
Rain last night, today
It seems nature
Is having a good cry.

Not a tormented passionate cry
Of thunderstorm and wind
But the steady relieving
Of sadness long held

Freely tears come
Bringing release
Pain replaced by peace
Sleep comes with the sound of rain.

Sweet Rose

Spirit of a Butterfly

New kitchen

As a sociology major I have a big interest in people preferably the ones in groups. This blog thing is very big groups. Just got a reply from someone in Russia. This group could get huge.

On a smaller group level, I just entertained 4 of my coworkers in my new kitchen. We started demolition and construction on the kitchen in November of 05. I boxed up all the dishes and utensils except for a bare minimum. The cupboards came down as well as one wall. The new walls went up. If someone tells you they want you to move out while they gut your kitchen, listen to them. No one said that to me, so we just lived with it. It was a lot like camping without the fun. You had to dig for everything you needed or you just said f__ it and did without. After a month in the new kitchen I am still sitting down in it with awe. I have a new kitchen with a dishwasher. First one for this house. I know where everything is and it ain't in the bottom of a box. I am baking breads and pies and entertaining. It is superb. Hear that big guy? Big guy put it together for me and I helped. We are a good team.

Grandgirl#3, #2 is the kid with all the hats. #3 likes pumpkins.

Christmas Eve, me and grandgirl #1. Told you I was old.

The really great guy Stan and the girl of many hats' first communion.

The grandgirl of many hats and me.

Where do I begin?

Yesterday I said I didn't think I could have a blog. what was interesting about me, my life? Then I realized most blogs aren't that interesting and all they are is about people being real. I can do that, be real. Sometimes too real. So here goes. I'm old just cleared 63. I'm a farm native who escaped when I was young. I married twice and have two boys, 3 granddaughters, and 5 grandsons and 1 granddaughter with my husband's kids. We live in a house that grew up. Sometime I'll put in a picture. we have 3 dogs and one cat. I love to garden and camp. We have a 72 LandYacht Airstream and use it when we have time. I also like to write poetry. My current husband is a great guy who loves to remodel. I think he does it for therapy. Right now I'm thinking I could erase all this and never write another thing on this blog and I would be safe. No one would know anything about me. But I never have been safe and I'll send this and rue the day later.

I work in the non profit sector helping low income families. I like the people I work with and I also am looking forward to retirement. I want to travel and write. There will be more to follow but right now I need to rest. Being old you know.