Gull Farewell

Yipee

Galveston Dawn

Back home again in Indiana

Well we are here safe and back on Indiana soil. It was a great trip and my grandgirls gave it an 8 and a 9. The 8 was a motel problem actually her problem. I thought all accomodations were great. Very clean. I especially liked the La Quinta balcony with a door accessing outside fresh sea air. Always feel claustrophobic in motel rooms with sealed windows. Tried to post Thursday night but would not enter. We had a great day Thursday, sunny and on the edge of warm. Maddie didn't have a problem, being part mermaid, she got in the pool which I tried and found frigid, then moved on to the ocean where she tried boogie boarding. She had a slight concept glitch and kept bucking into the waves. A little backward but very entertaining. Cocky got some great surf shots which I hope to put here if I get my card back from the big guy. We had a splendid lunch at Miller's Landing or something like that, great barbecue. Also The Spot was superb as always. We had linguine in our room that evening and Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia. I got some Chunky but the girls woofed the cherry. It was nice having a micro and fridge in the room. I much prefer relaxing over supper and how better to relax than stretched out in bed. We had to go to the Rain Forest Restaurant because they kept bringing it up and Cocky managed to go from 15.00 meals to, "let's split a sparkling volcano." So we did. However that requires being the center of attention because two of the staff present this giant brownie with ice cream on top and a sparkler sparking. They scream "Volcano" many times and all the animals make noises, quite a production. It is quite disney like and great for kids.

The ride back was long, 12 hours Friday counting lunch and another 8 on Saturday. We had a couple tense moments trying to find the right turns, I know I have a GPS Garmin and she did her best but I am directionally challenged and despite her efforts I could still drive past turns or turn right instead of left. Cocky was quite exasperated with me and didn't hide it. We finally devised a plan where I told her to tell me what to do and just to treat me like a total idiot. It worked well and we made it home. Now I am going to relax from the trip because I have another week off. Also Curly is coming to spend the night next week.

Sweet Rain

There is a place we can’t see
Where clouds are pink
And rain is sweet.

Where laughter sounds from the air
Much like the wind,
And bugs massage your tired skin.

There is a place where no pain lives
Where joy and peace can float
And down they come
Like a brand new coat.

Most days you sing but often dance
And when you wish you can fly

There is a place
Where distrust and hate are just antiques
Enclosed in glass upon a shelf

Jealousy a word no one can spell
Bitterness and revenge are in the dump
It is more fun to laugh and jump.

So just hang on and someday
We will find this place
And I will chase you up the tree.

Seet Rose

Ramblings from Houston

Well on the way to Memphis we saw about 5 cars and trucks and a boat trailer and pickup that were involved in a major ouchie. Looked like everyone was still alive but the vehicles would need the dents worked out. The second day we made Houston and were welcomed into my sister’s lovely home by her charming husband. They both seemed happy we were there and have managed to keep up this appearance so far. But I am sure like all visitors a sigh will emit when we drive out the driveway.

Alice still has a very sharp wit despite the damage MS has done to her body. She still laughs when you poke fun at her and she can still speak but with a very soft voice. We watched Happy Feet last night and she really enjoyed it. So did we. Yesterday was crawfish day. When we come my brother-in-law always gets crawfish and other seafood and we have a party. We got shrimp, mussels and sweet corn and along with steamed small potatoes, had a great meal. Oh yeah there was beer, apple pie and ice cream too. Not together but you get the idea.

Went out to get the water drained from the cooler which was in the trunk and when I closed the lid realized that the car was locked and the keys weren’t in my pocket. After some reflection, I could see them in the trunk. I had laid them down while moving the cooler and hadn’t picked them up. So after a call to my insurance agent and Pop a Lock we are back in business. My granddaughters just shook their heads and said something about the old folks home, but what do they know they don’t even drive yet. Meditation must be helping because I barely cussed when I realized what had happened.

Had an important aha this a.m. I was taking a walk thinking about my sister and how much trouble there is and then this squirrel ran in front of me and I swear he had a bubble above his head like in the funny papers that said, “Be here now.” Sure glad I saw him because that was where I went to, right here, right now. The rest of the morning was quite an improvement. Well onward and upward we are going on a tour of Houston or as close as we care to get.

Big Day is Almost here

Tomorrow is the beginning of our big adventure. The grandgirls and I are going to Houston and Galveston for spring break. I went to Florida once on spring break and I know how insane it is but I haven’t seen my youngest sister in 7 years and it is time. I am the sole driver and don’t look forward to that part. I will have company to keep me entertained and frustrated. (Are we there yet?) Yesterday I added traffic information to my Garmin GPS and the tech guy said he was from Houston and proceeded to tell me they do 80 on the freeways there, just what I wanted to hear. I refuse to white knuckle it. I will breathe and focus on the car in front of me.

There will be pictures and stories about the big adventure in subsequent blog entries.

Little Buddy

Well it has been some time since my little friend visited me but he is here again. I work at a preschool in the office as a family advocate. When the teacher has a problem with this little guy he comes to my room to sit on the floor and be bored. It is nap time and he prefers waking up the others rather than going to sleep. At first they were sending him home but I said that was probably his goal so I suggested he come down to my office and sit. So that is what he is doing. He now tells me that he is sleepy but I don’t see any evidence of that and he has already used that trick up.
The snow has begun to melt and we get a little sun now and then. I am looking forward to the end of March when I leave for Houston. My sister lives there and I haven’t seen her for 6 years. My two oldest grandgirls are going with me, they have spring break that week. It should be a hoot.
This has been a sad week at work we have had two people die. One of them was only 20 something. She was on dialysis but was always cheerful and active. It seems a shame to end life so soon, but then she may be in a better place.
Well it may be time for by buddy to nap he is lying down.

Cabin Fever

The weather has finally made me want spring really bad. I kind of wanted it before the cold came but I felt guilty wanting it because I thought it was warm already. Now I want it to warm up and I don’t feel a bit guilty. Hilda and Bernie are happier. (Our dogs) We have straw in their houses now and they seem quite content to sit there snuggled up and snoozing. I am getting really lonely for my grandgirls. We will have to have an overnite as soon as it warms up a bit.

The good thing about all this is that there is sun. Before it was cold it was gray a lot and rainy. We have many more sunny days now and even if it is below 0 at least it is sunny and bright. The other nice thing is that we were sent home from work Tuesday at 9:30 a.m. and didn’t have to return until Thursday a.m. Also we were paid for the time off. Now that was very nice. It gave me a glimpse into how retirement will be in the winter, unless we go south for a while.

My brother went south and likes to call me and rub it in on a weekly basis. He mentions things like he is in shorts and a tee shirt or it is going to 70 today. He said he felt trapped when the snow came because he couldn’t go home now until it melted. Poor baby!!

The forecast looks better for next week. Something about highs in the 30’s.

New Place

My blog is coming from a new place, I think it is some sunny beach somewhere. Yeah that's it. If I can't get anyone except my sweet loyal spouse to respond to my blog at least I can have a nice place to write in. According to the blog layout ad this should cause more people to view my blog because it will catch their eyes. Well we will see.

We have snow. It has been a long time getting here. It is colder here also. I don't remember waiting until mid January for snow my whole life and that is a lot of life. We had a brief one day melted snow earlier but nothing that seemed like winter. May be it is here at last.

Let me know what you think of the beach.

Even though I feel this is just going out into the blogosphere to float among other blogs and no one ever sees it, since I don't get comments, I am writing anyway. My meditation teacher would say that my ego is hurt and she would be right. I will let my conscience rule and write because I can. Who knows I might have something to say. Yesterday I went to a meeting with Mathew Flickstein who is getting funding to do a documentary for PBS about the world's religions. His premise is to show that even thought there are many religions in essence they all agree on the important stuff, or something like that. It was very refreshing to spend time with Matt. He was so honest and thoughtful. There was no pretense, no game playing. Very different from so many encounters. He gave us time to meditate and that evening I went to my yoga class which always ends with meditation. So yesterday I had two opportunities to be quiet. Today I noticed that it was easier to find a moment to be still and concentrate on my breath. It made me think about becoming more dedicated to daily meditation. I do it now but it consists of sitting in bed before going to sleep and I usually end it soon after I begin.

Yesterday was also my #3 grandgirl's birthday. She was bouncing around the house as usual. She liked the toy cell phone and outfit I gave her. After she played with it for a short time she asked, "Are there more presents?" What a kid. I think her birthday comes too close to Christmas.

Pray

I am very concerned about the future of this country. We have a very scary leader. He wants to keep this war going and he wants to kill more of our young men. A woman just called in to NPR to say her husband was called for service when he had been honorably discharged some years ago. Are they so desperate they will take anyone? Perhaps it was an error. I hope so. Possibly the only way to stop this insanity is to do what we did during Viet Nam. Peace marches. If we hit the streets in D.C. they will have to do something. The other possibility is to get Bush a psychiatrist. He probably wouldn't keep his appointments. I will pray that a ray of sanity penetrates his thick skull. We must all pray.

Those are sticks, silly.

Goodbye '06

Tomorrow is the last day of this year. How fast the days fly by. It seems we just started and now we are at the end. It has been a good year, no major crises. Life has been reasonable of late. I spent yesterday with two of my grandgirls. The newest and and the middle one of many hats. We had a good day. The little one had a stick she found in the yard from our oak trees. She uses it to play music. She puts it in her mouth and hums little made up tunes. She took it in the dentist office and when grandma called it a flute she was told it is a horn. Yesterday she went into the yard and came in with several sticks. Her sister asked were they horns and she said, "no, silly these are sticks. Her sister persisted undaunted and asked if she was going to play the big one and she said "no it is too loud". She is almost 3 what imaginations we have.

As I watch these two young ones I think about being that old once and all the time between then and now. They have so much ahead and I so much behind. But life goes on and tomorrow is this year's end. What will '07 bring. More reasonableness I trust.

Enough Already

This morning I was listening to the Diane Ream show on NPR and someone called in and said that the President was Commander in name only and that over 50% of Americans were against the war in Iraq. So why the hell don't we do something. Why do we sit and moan let's start shouting. Let's end the killing and maiming and weeping and mourning. Enough already. If you want the war to stop do something, write your congressman or demonstrate. It is costing billions of dollars of your tax money and we are becoming indebted to other nations. They want to send more troops for their surge. All they are doing is sending more targets. Enough already.

Warm December

It is sunny and pleasant here in Indiana. Tomorrow they are forecasting 50 degrees. If anyone is reading my blog I would really like hearing from you. Last weekend I finished painting the walls in the dining room, a light sky blue. It looks really good with the wood around the windows and the green plants. I am looking forward to the mopboard being installed so I can move back the furniture. All these things take time.

Last night I went to meditation. It was good and I was able to get into it better than prior. It felt like I was almost free of my body. Usually I am so uncomfortable that I can't reach that feeling but last night was different. Instead of concentrating on the breath we could choose to concentrate on whatever we were feeling. I chose the stiffness in my shoulders and was amazed to feel the tightness dissolve. Also the pain in my bottom disappeared once I focused on it. This morning in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, it said that the practice can lead to calmness. Not just while sitting but later in your daily routine. That is true.

We did a short meditation which focused on others. We asked that the pain of others be lifted by lifting their anger, bitterness and delusion. It felt really good to be able to give this thought to others. Sometimes that is all we can give but it can change something. How we feel about others can change our attitude and our approach.

Culture

This morning I had the pleasure of attending a talk on diversity and culture. I use the word pleasure loosely. It was a mandatory pleasure ordered by those in command and I had no choice in the matter. I have come to the conclusion following this illuminating workshop that culture is not putting your little finger out when you drink tea. Yet in a way it is. Culture is what happens to you when you are born into a particular family, in a particular country and you are of a particular race and gender. More or less.

Enough of that. I am looking forward to the weekend. It is late Friday afternoon and I will be getting the weekend started at about 5:30 p.m. That is if all the parents get their kids on time. I think I'll kidnap my two younger grand girls for an overnight on Saturday. The youngest wants to come to my house. She is so earnest in her request that I have to agree.

We survived the snoopy auditors this week. They have returned to wherever snoopy auditors hang out and left us to refile our folders and sigh in relief. But it won't last long next week is our winter fest. That will be less stressful and more fun but time consuming nevertheless.

I have one more gift and I will be finished with Christmas Shopping. Every year I say I am going to start giving donations to charity instead of gifts because others need it more than my family and every year I buy my family gifts. It just seems silly to find people things they already have or don't want when there are people who have nothing and really need it. Oh well 'tis the season.

Changes

Today is the auction. My 93 year old aunt who is now quite forgetful and more childish every day owns 40 acres of prime farm land. Her POA’s will be selling the farm to help pay for her in home care.

My aunt worked all her life until she retired at age 55. She has lived comfortably on her pension since then even including some European trips. When she was 17-18 her father died leaving her mother with 4 younger children. My dad and aunt were required to take on responsibility for the others. Dad held down the farm while my aunt worked in town for the biggest landowners there. Later she moved to a better job in a larger city and eventually moved there. She lived alone and never married. She was always free to do as she chose until she began to lose her mind, as she puts it. Now her solitude is gone. There is always someone there but that is necessary. My aunt often becomes bewildered and lost trying to understand what is going on. She seems to have many webs and veils inside her mind hiding reality.

The farm is the last tie to her early life and it will be sold today at 6 o’clock. She won’t know the tie is cut because she won’t be told. She wouldn’t remember and it would only raise her anxiety level.

Instead I will go to the auction and keep it a secret from her. It has helped to write this because I am sad that this has to be and I needed to let it go.