Now

Yesterday you could feel the air drying out. It was humid all day and about 7:00 p.m. it really started to cool and dry. It is funny how much better I feel when the weather changes so fast. I have a lot more energy but I must think too fast then my mouth gets in on the act and its all over. This morning I really did it. Told Big Guy what I thought before I thought and he was out the door fast. Sometimes it is better to talk to yourself, especially when you haven't woke up. Well he might come home tonight. He did respond to an email in a positive way so there is hope.

Did you see the little house on Yahoo today. It wasn't as big as a parking space and this woman lived in it. She had to shower at work or a friend's but it had a toilet. She said her utility bill ran 6.00 a month and that was for propane. There was a solar panel on the roof. She slept upstairs in a loft with a skylight. She could look at the stars at night. That would be cool. It was very cottagey looking and was very nice inside, mostly polyurethaned plywood.

As I plan for my retirement I must remember how important today is. Rushing to December will only leave me without the precious days leading up to it. My friend Kim wants to take a yoga retreat with me. This will be fun if I can find one I can afford. I want to take a writing class and a drawing class. I will probably volunteer a little and travel. Then the little grandgirl will have to come over and help me make cookies. My sister-in-law and I may open a little shop and sell her jewelry and my scrub and oils. I will need a vacation from retirement before long. But back to this lovely, cool, sun-kissed day. The breeze is soft with a touch of late September. I will enjoy here.

Curly picking

Bean Picking

Nice weekend. Curly and Many Hats stayed over Friday night then went with me to my brother's to pick green beans on Saturday morning. Barb, my sister-in-law, took special interest in Curly because she was such a good bean picker. She suggested that Curly stay and pick beans the following week. When we returned to my house and were having lunch, conversation turned to the morning events and I commented on what a good job Curly did and how Barb really liked it. Curly looked at me with a very serious expression and said "Yeah, she wanted to keep me." We also got some kick ass sweet corn that was superdelicious. My brother has a large pond in the center of the spread. Many Hats jumped in and enticed Hilda into the deep. Hilda is a edge swimmer, likes to feel the bottom. She swam out to keep an eye on Many Hats though despite her trepidation. She is a good dog.

Watched a good movie with Big Guy, Saturday night. "The Pursuit of Happyness" with Will and Jadin Smith. It dragged a little but only because I wanted things to improve for them. If you have kids or even if you don't it is a must see.

I heard from Mariluna the last post and I am very happy. No one comments on my blog anymore, Big Guy said it because it is very hard to do since I changed to Google. I wish I had stayed with the original. Does anyone know how I can get a blog that is easier to comment on?

From under the manure pile.

How long are we, the American people, going to sit still for all the bullshit the administration keeps shoveling at us. Yes, yes, I know another tirade is building, building hell it is boiling over. We sit and whimper, whine and groan. When in the hell are we going to get up and do something, anything, even if it's wrong. This president is the worst f--- up ever. And what do we do? We watch him f--- up some more. That is not only criminal it is abusive. The poor guy is like a fly in a spider web. He don't know didley and he wouldn't if he met him. We need to kick him and all his corporate buddies out. People say we would have Nancy Pelosi if he and Cheney resigned and that would be awful. Well, how much worse could she be? Terrible would be an improvement.

Okay, I'm done. I don't feel much better but maybe a little. For a long time I thought I was missing something and Bush was really doing a better job that it appeared. I don't think so anymore. What you see is what you get.

Porches

Two more hours actually 1 hour and 56 minutes until I go home. This has been a long and boring day. It may rain tonight and I would really like that. If it rained when we needed it we wouldn't appreciate it near as much. I have joined NetFlix today and am waiting for the first movie to arrive. I really am tired of the movies on HBO, I've seen most of them many times. This looks like it will work out but I have a two week trial to find out.

Big Guy has a bad upper respiratory infection or broncitis. He sounds awful in the middle of the night trying to cough, hope it is looser tonight. I may sleep on the couch where it is quieter. Cocky and my oldest have colds now too. It is becoming an epidemic.

I have cleaned and rearranged the front porch, we have many, I think I will do a week where we eat in a different porch or eating area every night and see how many nights we come up with. There is the front porch, the back porch, the picnic table, the gazebo, the dining room and the kitchen. That would almost take a week. Wow a whole week not eating dinner in front of the TV. What a concept! But back to cleaning the front porch. After rearranging it I find there is more room and it is quite cozy. In the evening I like sitting out there because I can't hear the TV. It is quiet except for the circada and the traffic. The light is low and coolness is returning. A candle would be nice, I will get one. Hilda joins me when she can or Violet(cat).

Well I am already planning a vacation for next year, two actually. I want to go to Florida to see my old friend again and back to Quachita State Park in Hot Springs. I think if the g-girls can pay for their tickets we will fly to Fla. Big guy and I will drive to Ark. That should be all I can afford, but it gives me something to look forward too. Looking forward keeps it interesting.

Many Hats

Day off

How swiftly flee the hours when you are taking a day off. Here it is bedtime already and I just went for my morning bike ride, or so it seems. If employers would let employees do their job the way they saw fit and when, it would be a much shorter work week. Had a fun afternoon with Many Hats. She and I went shopping for her birthday present. Her birthday was June 17 so it is high time. She got a cute outfit and she looks great. She is growing up and those green eyes are going to drive someone wild someday.

The big guy has a cold and he is sure it is just like it was when he had pneumonia. He says that everytime he gets a cold. It really isn't fun for me when he gets sick. Even the vet had a cough today it must be germ incubation time. Latin, Mary, the vet and Big Guy, where is going to end and don't say with me.

The cat isn't talking to me since I gave her medicine to her a while ago. She needs some for fur balls too but it may be tomorrow before she reappears. She wasn't at all pleased with the carrier or the exam at the vet's.

Well I am visualizing a cool bath and a short meditation followed by bed.

Camping in Ohio

Possibilities

Spent a relaxing week off work and now I am back. Well I'm determined to see the possibilities as Kevin Costner does. There must be a possibility in this day. One might be entering this in my blog. It was so nice at the campsite because there were no responsibilities other than getting something to eat now and then and walking to the bathrooms when necessary. The first two days were a little different because the G-girls were there. They require a lot of maintenance but they went home and then it was just me and the big guy. We visited my niece and were greatly impressed by her new home. Very large and quite lovely.

After the heat dissipated it was very nice at the site. Hilda enjoyed taking dips in the nearby pond and running up and down the path. The sky was clear save a few cotton clouds and the water reflected blue. I wanted to stay till the end but big guy wanted to go home a day early so we did.

Back home again in Indiana there were flowers to water, a camper to unpack and animals to make peace with. We left the cat and Bernie(dog) at home. (My oldest son checked them daily.) Bernie was happy to see us but the cat had to make sure the door worked. She would mew to go out then mew to come in, this cycle would repeat as often as you wanted to let her in or out and she was so insistent that it seemed a good idea to comply. This only lasted a day or so. Big guy went back to working on the addition to the house behind us. He is near completion except for the front side of the old roof. He is getting it ready for shingles and has someone who will do that portion once he has it prepped.

What is it about work that makes him more interesting? He has more energy when he does manual labor and he seems more positive. I really think it is not good to sit in front of a computer for too long. It makes you stupid and sluggish. That's my diagnosis and I'm sticking to it.

Today I'm back at work and my co-worker Latin Rupunzel is sniffling and coughing. She picked up a summer cold, poor thing. She is very quiet, once in a while I can pry something out of her. Well the possibility there would be to carry on with the peace and quiet of vacation.

Crazy War

It is soap box time again. We are literally driving our troops crazy in Iraq. There are 40 percent of those who have served who are now suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and other forms of mental illness. It is so bad that therapists are resigning rather than help these people. If they want help they will have to pay for it themselves since the Armed Forces won't. What kind of country are we to send these people there to defend us then we won't take care of them after what they have done for us. I realize that this is a very unpopular war and should never have been attempted in the first place, but these service men and women need help. Think about it would you want a veteran with a gun after you because he thinks your a terrorist?

Well the surprise party for my husband has been re-titled the reunion. That is fine because it really wasn't his birthday and it certainly was a reunion. I am so relieved that I don't have to hide things from him anymore. I didn't realize how hard that is for me to do. I really like to be open and honest and it was hard not telling the whole truth. He really enjoyed everyone being there and that was the plan. We have been having a lot of fun looking at the pictures on flicker. There used to be a cartoon in the paper that had a lot of kids in the family and they were always spread out in the picture with grandpa and the dog. That's what the pictures remind me of. We had two visiting golden retrievers too.

Family is a very special thing. The beginning unit of all socialization. It is very important to keep contact with your family of origin. As I watch other families interact which I often get the opportunity to do in my job. I am struck by the different ways parents show love to their kids. Some of the ways would be hard to recognize as love but that is what it is. Mom grabs the two year old and sets him on her lap as he screams in defiance. She lets him scream because she loves him. How will he learn discipline if he doesn't get the chance to experience consequences?

It is good to keep in contact with the family elders so you can learn about the beginning days and how it was then. How hard it was to make a living or walk that 5 miles in the snow to school. Stories are important to all of us. To feel the continuity and realize that someone cared enough to work hard to feed us and keep us on this earth. It is good for the elders to see the young ones struggling to raise their young and to watch the young ones play and laugh. Time is such a valuable thing and so hard to hold.

Free Country?

It is going to be a lovely day. I went to vote this morning and have no idea who I voted for. They asked me to pick a party so I did and they gave me a green paper to give to the judge. This little old guy said he was the judge and he took the paper and put something in the machine then he said I could vote. The reason I showed up was to vote for the mayor and the mayor wasn't even on the ballot. So I voted for the council members and some other offices and left. Later I learned this was the primary and I could vote again in the fall. I am glad because if picking your party meant picking the mayor I might have chosen the wrong one.

Our town wants to spend a lot of money on a downtown ball stadium and hotel and shoppping center. It seems strange that we need a baseball diamond when we have one that they give away free tickets to get the benches filled. We have been paying extra sales tax for that for years and now they want to build another one. They had a meeting where people could talk about it and they booked a lot of people to speak for it with very few against it. Sometimes I wonder if they didn't forget to schedule the people against it. The other wonderful idea is to spend millions on remodeling schools and of course raising property taxes. Soon we will have empty houses because people won't be able to afford living here. I'm sure everyone was in favor of that idea too.

Aware of ignorance

Today I decided that I would enjoy this day by being aware and awake in it. Not spend it wishing it was time for vacation or that the rain would stop, but letting things fall out as they will. I realized that I will be 64 on Friday and that there will be fewer years left for me than when I was young. Each day is a treasure and maybe after all these years I am beginning to realize that. As I was leaving for work I noticed that water was seeping under the front porch door and I knew that with the overabundance of precipitation falling the porch would be a lake if I didn't drain the puddle. This involves ramming a long stick through the drain pipe that runs under the flowerbed. Leaves get in there and clog the drain. I have a short term memory when draining this puddle. Everytime I think I can use a broom or rake which I again did only to learn for the 37th time that I need something longer. I live in delusion and think something shorter will surely work though it never does. It hasn't the last 37 times. Then I find a long stick which does work which I did. All the while the rain is puddling off the eaves onto my head and shoulders. When I saw the water begin to get away I realized it was time to be at work. I decided to forego the umbrella since it is always a hassle and I was already soaked. As I was walking into the office from the parking spot that was the farthest away from door, I actually enjoyed the rain coming down, why not I was already wet. So off to the start of a new day and trying to stay awake.

Gumbo

Well when I got out of Dodge Saturday I went to Ohio to my brothers'. His wife Barb fed me royally and we all enjoyed the conversation. She even provided carry out. She makes a mean chicken gumbo and super vegetable beef soup. Got some pics of the pond which I will post later.

Yesterday was my daughter-in-law's birthday and after waiting for her all day she made it about 7:00 p.m. She is such a busy person of late. I think she likes the bracelet I gave her. The aforementioned Barb makes them and I sell some for her. She gave me a big selection so I let Les choose one. They really are lovely.

The weather here is much improved today, sunny and warmer. There is still a nip in the air and the wind is gusty but I'll take it any day over the snow we got Saturday. Nothing much left to say.

This or that or something like it

Since no one comments lately I have decided to subject whoever reads this to my ramblings. There will be no subject or if so only by accident. Just had a great sandwich that I almost burned. Made an omelet with cheese, paprika, cayenne, cream, onion on flax toast oh yeah there was bacon too. GREAT!! Plan on going to visit my brother and wife today. They live in Ohio about 20-30 miles from me. It will be nice they have a very scenic yard which includes a pond, plan to take my camera. Yesterday took pictures of my youngest grandgirl only to find the focus had been set on manual the whole time. Little by little I am learning from the big guy what to do with it.

Now this paragraph break only indicates that I'm tired of that one. My grandgirl had a gushy number 2 accident in her training diaper yesterday and informed me, "Grandma that is gross." She pretty well nailed it. Big Guy fixed my computer speakers today and I'm listening to some great stuff. Mostly things I put on my ipod but I haven't listened to it for some time so long it's dead. My sister in Houston got her birthday present sent her a floppy soft bear and some candy. Thought she could have the bear near her on the bed since she can't pick it up. She said she feels very old and well she might.

Sick of that paragraph too. Just recharged my ipod and plan to get the hell out of dodge. Later

Chickens

I'm so unhappy about my favorite talk show being taken off the air. So he slipped a little he didn't say anything the hip hops don't say. When are we going to stop giving that segment of society special treatment. I think that in itself is racist. The rest of us get picked on and we have no where to go. He had a good show that did a lot of good which is more than you can say for most of them. MSNBC are lilly livered cowards. They want the money and fold when things get rough. I will revert to reading in the morning, there is nothing that can replace Imus.

OOPS AGAIN

It seems I did know how to delete the picture so now I will add a different one.

OOPS!!

Yeah, I know I have this picture in twice. If anyone knows can you please tell me how to delete a picture after it has been published or is that not an option.

SNOW!! IN APRIL

It is snowing again!!! It is like the weather has a snow addiction. It just needs to think about warm sunny days with soft caressing breezes. I am on vacation this week and there is no need for this snow. It probably knows I'm on vacation. Today I am having lunch with an old friend. That will be nice. He and I haven't talked for some time so we can catch up. Tomorrow my sister may be coming for lunch and Friday Curly may spend the night so there are things to look forward to despite the snow.

Read an article about the effects of meditation on the mind and physical body. You can actually control how you think with many years of meditation or maybe not that many if you practice faithfully. I am not that faithful. The more I read the more I am considering giving it more time. It is calming and gives me more quiet throughout my day. I was made aware of that recently. Someone was obsessing about something she couldn't effect and I found myself thinking how silly that was when in the past I would have done the same thing.

Life goes on and we learn a little more each day if we are aware. Awareness is the key. We can live like sleepwalkers or we can wake up and see what is there. Recently I had a talk with my 14 year old grandgirl about perception. She was avoiding an unpleasant confrontation and I was telling her that much of her apprehension was due to her perception of the situation. It involved something that would evolve as time went by and there was no way to know how things would turn out but she was sure it would work out the way she visualized it. I asked her if the way she saw things was really the way they were and reminded her that I could see the same thing in quite a different manner. Did that make my way right and her way wrong or was it simply how each of us saw it? Were either of us really aware of reality or only our conception of it. She was able to have less of a deathgrip on the future and take a different tack with the situation, for which I was grateful. We spend so much of our lives avoiding our misguided outcomes when we have no reality to base them on. In the process we miss opening up to the wonder of awareness.

Well dude I'm getting far to heavy but what you gonna do on a snow day?

Epilogue

Not sure what an epilogue is but here is what I think. Took two days to feel like not taking a nap every half hour. Not that I did but I sure could have. Yesterday I had a dental cleaning at IPFW which always takes over 3 hours. Went in at 1:00 p.m and left at 4:20. That is good time. Had a really sweet girl, Lacey, and if you are local and need your teeth cleaned ask for her, she needs business. She's speedy and efficient. Cost is 37.00 compared to 100-115.00 at your dentist where they rush through in 1/2 hour and leave your teeth a mess. Took me 2 years to get mine in good shape. Anyway you don't want to think about getting your teeth cleaned.

My sweet big guy seems happy I'm back as does Hilda(white shepherd) who has to check on me everytime she gets in the house. Big guy said she sat by the door and waited for me the first few days I was gone and now she keeps making sure I'm back. My other dog Bernie checks me too but he never knows what is going on. Dumbest dog I ever had.

Today there is sun and I am delighted. Think I will work on the backyard later. But then later could be tomorrow. I am still travel logged. New use of the word.. may have to cozy up with my new Yoga magazine instead. Get the important stuff out of the way. After all when it is all over will they look at my back yard? Will I care?