Happy or Merry?

Well we are almost through the Happy Holidays. Big Guy said very few people wished him Merry Christmas and I noticed that also. It was Happy Holidays. Well I like Merry Christmas better. Christmas was good, quiet, with my family. New Year's Eve will be quieter, I usually go to bed early and sleep through if the fireworks don't get too loud. I am officially retired on Jan 2. I have not been working since Dec. 19 with vacation etc. It is a new experience and once I get over thinking I have to be busy every minute it will be great. Plan to visit some friends who live out of state. One is my Crazy Columbian friend in Connecticutt. How do you spell that state? I hope to see her in April. Right now I'm tearing up my office which could mean a blog slow down for a time. Think my computer will be off through the plaster dust. Hope you all have a Happy New Year and if you want a happy holiday too.

Countdown.

There are just two more days until I retire. I notice that I am sitting here thinking that I won't be logging into this computer after Friday and I won't be the one deciding which picture will be on the desktop today. Funny how mixed my feelings are about this. I am excited about all the things I can do without supervision and I am missing things that I usually take for granted.

Yesterday everyone in my department said goodbye at our Christmas Party and one person said she envied me. I am happy to retire but I also realize that it means I am old enough and that I will only get older until there is no more. How depressing is that? There is only one thing to do and that is to enjoy today. This morning when the tibetan bell rang I thought, next week I can sleep in.

Today was Grandparent's day at Cocky's school. She is a freshman this year and I was surprised that they did this sort of thing at such an advanced age. She was amused at me and herself and we had a good time. Her class that I was to accompany her to was gym. We did a puzzle instead of anything active. Guess they thought us old people can't move. Cocky told me to be quiet then dropped her purse on the floor with a loud plop. She cracked up. Later we had lunch at a small cozy diner. she ordered rhubarb pie for desert and I got a bite. It was yummy.

Young people always inspire hope. She has her life yet and I hope it is a good one. She is a good kid.

Raining in the Closet

First shower in the beautiful new shower. It was so nice but a little like standing in a closet with the rain coming down. It is so big. The tile are beautiful and the windows on the sides are cool too. They bring in more light. It is nice having the shelving inside. Now I have to go shopping for accessories. The other thing nice about the windows is I can peek at Big Guy when he is in there. Hey Big Guy thanks for getting the shower going before December and before Thanksgiving too.

Well the big turkey day is coming. Time to get together with family and stuff ourselves. What a strange custom but we do it every year. My son has invited us and NMD is coming also. I am taking a cranberry whipped cream and cream cheese thing that is sinful. It will be nice to see my youngest son's S.O. Haven't seen her in a long while, she works out of town now.

Church and muffins

Rows of kids it is the all school mass. My granddaughter Many Hats is doing the readings today and has invited me. So many kids the church is nearly full. There is a row with boys in red sweat jackets and one of them keeps turning to look at me and the people in my vicinity.

As I sit there I begin to remember how comforted I feel here. I have been attending a different church and this feel so like coming home. As I inhale that special scent Roman churches have. A smell that takes me to baptisms, weddings, funerals. To my first communion and my sister’s wedding. To mom’s funeral and Mark’s baptism. A feeling begins to ebb in. I want to stay here a while even though I am due back at work in an hour. All that history in a scent how magical is that?


But eventually I drag myself away and head for the Aspen Coffee shop. The teachers need a treat and so do I. Originally I planned on getting doughnuts but I remember that Aspen has Mill bread. So I get a loaf of California Raisin that turns out to be wonderful. I get a cranberry orange muffin and a dark roast. As I sip the coffee seated on a high stool I look out at the parking lot and watch an older woman enter the library branch. It is a gray morning with glimpses of sun. Could snow. I think of next month and how I can stay then. There will be no job to get back for. I can stay all day if I want. But that is next month and this is now. It is warm and pleasant here but I must move on and head back to work.

Antiques and Music

As I gazed out the window this morning I saw snowflakes. People were commenting that it was awful because it was snowing. But I was pleased. It has been trying to come and it is here at least today. The weather has been so changeable lately.

Last evening, Many Hats and I went to her guitar lesson. Her teacher said she has been practicing. She has found a guitar that fits her and wants to trade in her electric for it. She wanted the electric so bad last year. She is going to keep that guy in business. Together we devised a plan for obtaining her new guitar. She will need 150.00. She is going to tell 5 relatives that if they give her 30.00 in cash they can count that as her Christmas present. She really likes her music.

While I waited for her outside in my car I took a picture of an antique car. Probably from the 40’s and today I wonder about the connection to history. Yesterday I realized that my baby picture is 63 years old. That car is probably about that age. We had to bring in pictures of ourselves as babies and young children, I work in a pre school. People were supposed to guess whose picture was whose. That is an old picture.

MY SHOWER IS TILED!!

My shower is tiled!! My shower is TILED!!! The water isn't connected but the tile is in and it is beautiful. Thank you NMD. Also have the curved curtain rod up and the curtain. It is happening may be by Christmas the shower will be connected.

Weather has been warm but it is cooling down again tomorrow. Winter is still testing. Made reservations for a yoga getaway in Michigan for July. Next I'm trying to get a date to visit my Florida friend but so far no reply. She probably doesn't want to see me. Also want to go to Conneticutt in April but am waiting for a date there too. My crazy Columbian friend moved to Conneticutt this year and I miss her. That should be a wild trip, my friend Annie is accompanying me so it will be wild.

Weird, I began this with all thoughts of spiritual and insightful things and everything practical surfaced. What's up with that? Perhaps another blog.

TESTING

Winter is testing to see
If she can come in.
She has her big toe in the leaves
And is touching the air
With a long finger.

Winter is testing to see
If the air is cool enough
And the trees are bare
Will it rain or snow
How soon can she move in?

Winter is testing to see
If the snowflakes will stay
Will ice form on the walk
Will the air steam from our lips
Then she will move in.

Winter is testing to see
How many of us complain and how many times
We talk as if there was a way to hold her back
She shakes her head and screams
As she moves in.

Almost quitten time

In 19 minutes it will be time to go home. Lately I have been having all these thoughts, like when I retire will 4:00 p.m. have the same meaning. Will I care when it is 5:00 a.m. or will I sleep through. Will I miss not seeing the same people every day 5 days a week. How silly is that? I will or not. I will deal. But it is my way of greiving the loss of the predictable and familiar.

I had a nice experience today. Drove to a small town about 40 miles NW of here that I used to spend time in. It was odd because a lot of downtown was the same. Same storefronts, different names. There were some new places on the main hwy passing through one side but overall it had not changed a lot in 10 years, except many houses needed paint. It was good to be there again.

It is blowing with a few snowflakes today. Won't be long there will be more. Well there goes 4:00.

MONDAY, MONDAY

Had a good weekend with the grandgirls. Many Hats and Curly spent Saturday nite and Curly spent Sunday. Many Hats went home early. She had shopping to do with the other GM. Curly was insistent that she would be spending the entire day with grandma. So she did. However she wanted to stay longer when I took her home at 5. We had a good time, feeding ducks and picking up pretty leaves, went to a nearby college that has many ducks and a neat pond. We took a long walk and found some hot chocolate after.

Stephanie’s imagination is working well, she said that her mother can fly and when her wings become invisible she floats. She was positive that ducks have diarrhea and that fish peed in the lake. (May be they do.) It is amazing what she can think.

Many Hats has been having grade problems again and her dad is freaking again. He keeps expecting more that she gives. She always takes a grading period to shift gears when she comes back from summer vacation. Cocky’s grades were all that hot either, she started a new school (freshman in high school). It takes time to adjust. But dad and mom want to freak.

Time is passing and I am counting days I think there are about 24 more working days until the end of working for the man. Then I will be working for ME. I plan to have a small party for a few people but none of that whole company s___. There are so many things my house needs before the party.

Started reading THE KITE RUNNER. It is good, wish I could spend the day with it but it will be in bits and drabs. Short week this week with a 5 day weekend. We get the 12th off also.

NMD (North Michigan Dude)

Joy and Promise

Well it has become apparent to me that the reason I blog is for attention. Since I am not getting a great deal of that lately, except for loyal Feng, I have decided to blog anyway. Interesting the spell check keeps underlining blog. When are they going to update that thing? There are a zillion things I should be doing at the moment but anyone knows that is far too many things to do in a minute so I will write this instead. I had a great weekend filled with joy and promise. The joy was Curly, my grandgirl, and the promise was Stan’s nephew who went shopping with me to purchase tile for our shower. We have a space dedicated to a shower in our upstairs bathroom but Big Guy has been dragging his feet on finishing it. NMD(North Michigan Dude) however is going at it. He has been cementing on the orange membrane and getting ready to do the deed. I am thrilled, a shower and a tub on different floors, how decadent is that? We have the tile now and NMD is working today but very soon now we will have tile on the shower wall.

Work is really dragging lately because try though I might I can’t stop thinking about being free in December. I really make an effort to live in the moment but I wind up wondering how many more moments until retirement. When I consider how the remainder of my life is so much shorter than what has transpired so far I try to be here right now. But it will be so nice to be free!

The weather today is so hot all of a sudden. This am it was pleasant but at noon it went immediately to hot. It has been warm all September. I wonder if we will get frost in October. NMD remarked that we didn’t have much color here. I told him it was coming but when. I think it usually shows up in October after the first frost. I am ready for cooler weather.

Curly and the clover

Guilty as Charged

I am guilty of blogger neglect. For this I am most sorry, but life do go on and on. It has been busy but uneventful so what could I do but wait until something interesting presented itself. This weekend was good, I invited Curly for an overnight and we had a pleasant time. She is so dear and at the age where everything you say is taken literally which can be so funny at times. We enjoyed the hammock and reading books. She colored some pictures for me and we looked at photos of everyone. Our time ended with apple picking at a local orchard. Her parents and Many Hats were there. She enjoyed it as much as a trip to the toy store. She ran down the lane, squealing with delight as she vied with her sister for the best apple. When it was time to go she told her mom that she wanted to ride with grandma and go back to her house. Mom said no and then commenced the argument. Mom won of course. Life was so simple at that age, but then I think we tend to complicate it more than is necessary.

My work has been taking a lot of my attention. Hardly have time to read blogs let alone write one. Big Guy has been roofing a house with his nephew’s help and all I get done is cooking when I am home. The nephew is being paid in food and room, not a bad trade off. He is staying in the studio behind our place and plans on living in town for a while. He started a new job today. The roof has progressed rapidly since his arrival.

I also have been making plans for my financial situation since I want to retire in December. Had to sign up at the Social Security Office and get things lined up with my financial guy. Next I will have to meet with our HR person to choose my end date etc. Also have started a list of things I think of doing when I’m working that I can’t do because I am working. Plan to keep this handy for those days when I say there is nothing to do I’m bored. I am sure those days will come after I retire maybe 8-10 months down the road, maybe not. My sister is also semi-retired and we can get into all kinds of trouble together.

Plan to do more cooking and baking. There are a lot of meals I can’t make now that I would like to make. Curly is in pre-school and every so many weeks she has to take a treat so maybe she and I could make it. Might bring one to where I used to work sometimes as a surprise. It will be sooo fun.

Crooks

What is going on with our culture? Why is it ok for mortgage companies to screw people? A friend told me she had to refinance her home due to circumstances that required more money. To do so she had to take out a loan with a variable mortgage and as far as I know that means the rate of interest on the loan keeps changing and that means the interest rate increases. In her case it has increased beyond practicality. Her husband has recently found a job but was unemployed all winter. She is considering opening a small business to help pay her house payment. She has children that need her and don't need her taking all her time away from them. If mortgage companies were on the up and up they would tell people that they can't refinance instead of leading them down the high interest path. Would that we follow the path the Buddhists advise. Do not take anything that is not your own. Be honest and treat others with respect. Christians have that approach too but they also have learned to rationalize whatever approach they decide to take.

Now

Yesterday you could feel the air drying out. It was humid all day and about 7:00 p.m. it really started to cool and dry. It is funny how much better I feel when the weather changes so fast. I have a lot more energy but I must think too fast then my mouth gets in on the act and its all over. This morning I really did it. Told Big Guy what I thought before I thought and he was out the door fast. Sometimes it is better to talk to yourself, especially when you haven't woke up. Well he might come home tonight. He did respond to an email in a positive way so there is hope.

Did you see the little house on Yahoo today. It wasn't as big as a parking space and this woman lived in it. She had to shower at work or a friend's but it had a toilet. She said her utility bill ran 6.00 a month and that was for propane. There was a solar panel on the roof. She slept upstairs in a loft with a skylight. She could look at the stars at night. That would be cool. It was very cottagey looking and was very nice inside, mostly polyurethaned plywood.

As I plan for my retirement I must remember how important today is. Rushing to December will only leave me without the precious days leading up to it. My friend Kim wants to take a yoga retreat with me. This will be fun if I can find one I can afford. I want to take a writing class and a drawing class. I will probably volunteer a little and travel. Then the little grandgirl will have to come over and help me make cookies. My sister-in-law and I may open a little shop and sell her jewelry and my scrub and oils. I will need a vacation from retirement before long. But back to this lovely, cool, sun-kissed day. The breeze is soft with a touch of late September. I will enjoy here.

Curly picking

Bean Picking

Nice weekend. Curly and Many Hats stayed over Friday night then went with me to my brother's to pick green beans on Saturday morning. Barb, my sister-in-law, took special interest in Curly because she was such a good bean picker. She suggested that Curly stay and pick beans the following week. When we returned to my house and were having lunch, conversation turned to the morning events and I commented on what a good job Curly did and how Barb really liked it. Curly looked at me with a very serious expression and said "Yeah, she wanted to keep me." We also got some kick ass sweet corn that was superdelicious. My brother has a large pond in the center of the spread. Many Hats jumped in and enticed Hilda into the deep. Hilda is a edge swimmer, likes to feel the bottom. She swam out to keep an eye on Many Hats though despite her trepidation. She is a good dog.

Watched a good movie with Big Guy, Saturday night. "The Pursuit of Happyness" with Will and Jadin Smith. It dragged a little but only because I wanted things to improve for them. If you have kids or even if you don't it is a must see.

I heard from Mariluna the last post and I am very happy. No one comments on my blog anymore, Big Guy said it because it is very hard to do since I changed to Google. I wish I had stayed with the original. Does anyone know how I can get a blog that is easier to comment on?

From under the manure pile.

How long are we, the American people, going to sit still for all the bullshit the administration keeps shoveling at us. Yes, yes, I know another tirade is building, building hell it is boiling over. We sit and whimper, whine and groan. When in the hell are we going to get up and do something, anything, even if it's wrong. This president is the worst f--- up ever. And what do we do? We watch him f--- up some more. That is not only criminal it is abusive. The poor guy is like a fly in a spider web. He don't know didley and he wouldn't if he met him. We need to kick him and all his corporate buddies out. People say we would have Nancy Pelosi if he and Cheney resigned and that would be awful. Well, how much worse could she be? Terrible would be an improvement.

Okay, I'm done. I don't feel much better but maybe a little. For a long time I thought I was missing something and Bush was really doing a better job that it appeared. I don't think so anymore. What you see is what you get.

Porches

Two more hours actually 1 hour and 56 minutes until I go home. This has been a long and boring day. It may rain tonight and I would really like that. If it rained when we needed it we wouldn't appreciate it near as much. I have joined NetFlix today and am waiting for the first movie to arrive. I really am tired of the movies on HBO, I've seen most of them many times. This looks like it will work out but I have a two week trial to find out.

Big Guy has a bad upper respiratory infection or broncitis. He sounds awful in the middle of the night trying to cough, hope it is looser tonight. I may sleep on the couch where it is quieter. Cocky and my oldest have colds now too. It is becoming an epidemic.

I have cleaned and rearranged the front porch, we have many, I think I will do a week where we eat in a different porch or eating area every night and see how many nights we come up with. There is the front porch, the back porch, the picnic table, the gazebo, the dining room and the kitchen. That would almost take a week. Wow a whole week not eating dinner in front of the TV. What a concept! But back to cleaning the front porch. After rearranging it I find there is more room and it is quite cozy. In the evening I like sitting out there because I can't hear the TV. It is quiet except for the circada and the traffic. The light is low and coolness is returning. A candle would be nice, I will get one. Hilda joins me when she can or Violet(cat).

Well I am already planning a vacation for next year, two actually. I want to go to Florida to see my old friend again and back to Quachita State Park in Hot Springs. I think if the g-girls can pay for their tickets we will fly to Fla. Big guy and I will drive to Ark. That should be all I can afford, but it gives me something to look forward too. Looking forward keeps it interesting.

Many Hats

Day off

How swiftly flee the hours when you are taking a day off. Here it is bedtime already and I just went for my morning bike ride, or so it seems. If employers would let employees do their job the way they saw fit and when, it would be a much shorter work week. Had a fun afternoon with Many Hats. She and I went shopping for her birthday present. Her birthday was June 17 so it is high time. She got a cute outfit and she looks great. She is growing up and those green eyes are going to drive someone wild someday.

The big guy has a cold and he is sure it is just like it was when he had pneumonia. He says that everytime he gets a cold. It really isn't fun for me when he gets sick. Even the vet had a cough today it must be germ incubation time. Latin, Mary, the vet and Big Guy, where is going to end and don't say with me.

The cat isn't talking to me since I gave her medicine to her a while ago. She needs some for fur balls too but it may be tomorrow before she reappears. She wasn't at all pleased with the carrier or the exam at the vet's.

Well I am visualizing a cool bath and a short meditation followed by bed.

Camping in Ohio

Possibilities

Spent a relaxing week off work and now I am back. Well I'm determined to see the possibilities as Kevin Costner does. There must be a possibility in this day. One might be entering this in my blog. It was so nice at the campsite because there were no responsibilities other than getting something to eat now and then and walking to the bathrooms when necessary. The first two days were a little different because the G-girls were there. They require a lot of maintenance but they went home and then it was just me and the big guy. We visited my niece and were greatly impressed by her new home. Very large and quite lovely.

After the heat dissipated it was very nice at the site. Hilda enjoyed taking dips in the nearby pond and running up and down the path. The sky was clear save a few cotton clouds and the water reflected blue. I wanted to stay till the end but big guy wanted to go home a day early so we did.

Back home again in Indiana there were flowers to water, a camper to unpack and animals to make peace with. We left the cat and Bernie(dog) at home. (My oldest son checked them daily.) Bernie was happy to see us but the cat had to make sure the door worked. She would mew to go out then mew to come in, this cycle would repeat as often as you wanted to let her in or out and she was so insistent that it seemed a good idea to comply. This only lasted a day or so. Big guy went back to working on the addition to the house behind us. He is near completion except for the front side of the old roof. He is getting it ready for shingles and has someone who will do that portion once he has it prepped.

What is it about work that makes him more interesting? He has more energy when he does manual labor and he seems more positive. I really think it is not good to sit in front of a computer for too long. It makes you stupid and sluggish. That's my diagnosis and I'm sticking to it.

Today I'm back at work and my co-worker Latin Rupunzel is sniffling and coughing. She picked up a summer cold, poor thing. She is very quiet, once in a while I can pry something out of her. Well the possibility there would be to carry on with the peace and quiet of vacation.

Crazy War

It is soap box time again. We are literally driving our troops crazy in Iraq. There are 40 percent of those who have served who are now suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and other forms of mental illness. It is so bad that therapists are resigning rather than help these people. If they want help they will have to pay for it themselves since the Armed Forces won't. What kind of country are we to send these people there to defend us then we won't take care of them after what they have done for us. I realize that this is a very unpopular war and should never have been attempted in the first place, but these service men and women need help. Think about it would you want a veteran with a gun after you because he thinks your a terrorist?

Well the surprise party for my husband has been re-titled the reunion. That is fine because it really wasn't his birthday and it certainly was a reunion. I am so relieved that I don't have to hide things from him anymore. I didn't realize how hard that is for me to do. I really like to be open and honest and it was hard not telling the whole truth. He really enjoyed everyone being there and that was the plan. We have been having a lot of fun looking at the pictures on flicker. There used to be a cartoon in the paper that had a lot of kids in the family and they were always spread out in the picture with grandpa and the dog. That's what the pictures remind me of. We had two visiting golden retrievers too.

Family is a very special thing. The beginning unit of all socialization. It is very important to keep contact with your family of origin. As I watch other families interact which I often get the opportunity to do in my job. I am struck by the different ways parents show love to their kids. Some of the ways would be hard to recognize as love but that is what it is. Mom grabs the two year old and sets him on her lap as he screams in defiance. She lets him scream because she loves him. How will he learn discipline if he doesn't get the chance to experience consequences?

It is good to keep in contact with the family elders so you can learn about the beginning days and how it was then. How hard it was to make a living or walk that 5 miles in the snow to school. Stories are important to all of us. To feel the continuity and realize that someone cared enough to work hard to feed us and keep us on this earth. It is good for the elders to see the young ones struggling to raise their young and to watch the young ones play and laugh. Time is such a valuable thing and so hard to hold.

Free Country?

It is going to be a lovely day. I went to vote this morning and have no idea who I voted for. They asked me to pick a party so I did and they gave me a green paper to give to the judge. This little old guy said he was the judge and he took the paper and put something in the machine then he said I could vote. The reason I showed up was to vote for the mayor and the mayor wasn't even on the ballot. So I voted for the council members and some other offices and left. Later I learned this was the primary and I could vote again in the fall. I am glad because if picking your party meant picking the mayor I might have chosen the wrong one.

Our town wants to spend a lot of money on a downtown ball stadium and hotel and shoppping center. It seems strange that we need a baseball diamond when we have one that they give away free tickets to get the benches filled. We have been paying extra sales tax for that for years and now they want to build another one. They had a meeting where people could talk about it and they booked a lot of people to speak for it with very few against it. Sometimes I wonder if they didn't forget to schedule the people against it. The other wonderful idea is to spend millions on remodeling schools and of course raising property taxes. Soon we will have empty houses because people won't be able to afford living here. I'm sure everyone was in favor of that idea too.

Aware of ignorance

Today I decided that I would enjoy this day by being aware and awake in it. Not spend it wishing it was time for vacation or that the rain would stop, but letting things fall out as they will. I realized that I will be 64 on Friday and that there will be fewer years left for me than when I was young. Each day is a treasure and maybe after all these years I am beginning to realize that. As I was leaving for work I noticed that water was seeping under the front porch door and I knew that with the overabundance of precipitation falling the porch would be a lake if I didn't drain the puddle. This involves ramming a long stick through the drain pipe that runs under the flowerbed. Leaves get in there and clog the drain. I have a short term memory when draining this puddle. Everytime I think I can use a broom or rake which I again did only to learn for the 37th time that I need something longer. I live in delusion and think something shorter will surely work though it never does. It hasn't the last 37 times. Then I find a long stick which does work which I did. All the while the rain is puddling off the eaves onto my head and shoulders. When I saw the water begin to get away I realized it was time to be at work. I decided to forego the umbrella since it is always a hassle and I was already soaked. As I was walking into the office from the parking spot that was the farthest away from door, I actually enjoyed the rain coming down, why not I was already wet. So off to the start of a new day and trying to stay awake.

Gumbo

Well when I got out of Dodge Saturday I went to Ohio to my brothers'. His wife Barb fed me royally and we all enjoyed the conversation. She even provided carry out. She makes a mean chicken gumbo and super vegetable beef soup. Got some pics of the pond which I will post later.

Yesterday was my daughter-in-law's birthday and after waiting for her all day she made it about 7:00 p.m. She is such a busy person of late. I think she likes the bracelet I gave her. The aforementioned Barb makes them and I sell some for her. She gave me a big selection so I let Les choose one. They really are lovely.

The weather here is much improved today, sunny and warmer. There is still a nip in the air and the wind is gusty but I'll take it any day over the snow we got Saturday. Nothing much left to say.

This or that or something like it

Since no one comments lately I have decided to subject whoever reads this to my ramblings. There will be no subject or if so only by accident. Just had a great sandwich that I almost burned. Made an omelet with cheese, paprika, cayenne, cream, onion on flax toast oh yeah there was bacon too. GREAT!! Plan on going to visit my brother and wife today. They live in Ohio about 20-30 miles from me. It will be nice they have a very scenic yard which includes a pond, plan to take my camera. Yesterday took pictures of my youngest grandgirl only to find the focus had been set on manual the whole time. Little by little I am learning from the big guy what to do with it.

Now this paragraph break only indicates that I'm tired of that one. My grandgirl had a gushy number 2 accident in her training diaper yesterday and informed me, "Grandma that is gross." She pretty well nailed it. Big Guy fixed my computer speakers today and I'm listening to some great stuff. Mostly things I put on my ipod but I haven't listened to it for some time so long it's dead. My sister in Houston got her birthday present sent her a floppy soft bear and some candy. Thought she could have the bear near her on the bed since she can't pick it up. She said she feels very old and well she might.

Sick of that paragraph too. Just recharged my ipod and plan to get the hell out of dodge. Later

Chickens

I'm so unhappy about my favorite talk show being taken off the air. So he slipped a little he didn't say anything the hip hops don't say. When are we going to stop giving that segment of society special treatment. I think that in itself is racist. The rest of us get picked on and we have no where to go. He had a good show that did a lot of good which is more than you can say for most of them. MSNBC are lilly livered cowards. They want the money and fold when things get rough. I will revert to reading in the morning, there is nothing that can replace Imus.

OOPS AGAIN

It seems I did know how to delete the picture so now I will add a different one.

OOPS!!

Yeah, I know I have this picture in twice. If anyone knows can you please tell me how to delete a picture after it has been published or is that not an option.

SNOW!! IN APRIL

It is snowing again!!! It is like the weather has a snow addiction. It just needs to think about warm sunny days with soft caressing breezes. I am on vacation this week and there is no need for this snow. It probably knows I'm on vacation. Today I am having lunch with an old friend. That will be nice. He and I haven't talked for some time so we can catch up. Tomorrow my sister may be coming for lunch and Friday Curly may spend the night so there are things to look forward to despite the snow.

Read an article about the effects of meditation on the mind and physical body. You can actually control how you think with many years of meditation or maybe not that many if you practice faithfully. I am not that faithful. The more I read the more I am considering giving it more time. It is calming and gives me more quiet throughout my day. I was made aware of that recently. Someone was obsessing about something she couldn't effect and I found myself thinking how silly that was when in the past I would have done the same thing.

Life goes on and we learn a little more each day if we are aware. Awareness is the key. We can live like sleepwalkers or we can wake up and see what is there. Recently I had a talk with my 14 year old grandgirl about perception. She was avoiding an unpleasant confrontation and I was telling her that much of her apprehension was due to her perception of the situation. It involved something that would evolve as time went by and there was no way to know how things would turn out but she was sure it would work out the way she visualized it. I asked her if the way she saw things was really the way they were and reminded her that I could see the same thing in quite a different manner. Did that make my way right and her way wrong or was it simply how each of us saw it? Were either of us really aware of reality or only our conception of it. She was able to have less of a deathgrip on the future and take a different tack with the situation, for which I was grateful. We spend so much of our lives avoiding our misguided outcomes when we have no reality to base them on. In the process we miss opening up to the wonder of awareness.

Well dude I'm getting far to heavy but what you gonna do on a snow day?

Epilogue

Not sure what an epilogue is but here is what I think. Took two days to feel like not taking a nap every half hour. Not that I did but I sure could have. Yesterday I had a dental cleaning at IPFW which always takes over 3 hours. Went in at 1:00 p.m and left at 4:20. That is good time. Had a really sweet girl, Lacey, and if you are local and need your teeth cleaned ask for her, she needs business. She's speedy and efficient. Cost is 37.00 compared to 100-115.00 at your dentist where they rush through in 1/2 hour and leave your teeth a mess. Took me 2 years to get mine in good shape. Anyway you don't want to think about getting your teeth cleaned.

My sweet big guy seems happy I'm back as does Hilda(white shepherd) who has to check on me everytime she gets in the house. Big guy said she sat by the door and waited for me the first few days I was gone and now she keeps making sure I'm back. My other dog Bernie checks me too but he never knows what is going on. Dumbest dog I ever had.

Today there is sun and I am delighted. Think I will work on the backyard later. But then later could be tomorrow. I am still travel logged. New use of the word.. may have to cozy up with my new Yoga magazine instead. Get the important stuff out of the way. After all when it is all over will they look at my back yard? Will I care?

Gull Farewell

Yipee

Galveston Dawn

Back home again in Indiana

Well we are here safe and back on Indiana soil. It was a great trip and my grandgirls gave it an 8 and a 9. The 8 was a motel problem actually her problem. I thought all accomodations were great. Very clean. I especially liked the La Quinta balcony with a door accessing outside fresh sea air. Always feel claustrophobic in motel rooms with sealed windows. Tried to post Thursday night but would not enter. We had a great day Thursday, sunny and on the edge of warm. Maddie didn't have a problem, being part mermaid, she got in the pool which I tried and found frigid, then moved on to the ocean where she tried boogie boarding. She had a slight concept glitch and kept bucking into the waves. A little backward but very entertaining. Cocky got some great surf shots which I hope to put here if I get my card back from the big guy. We had a splendid lunch at Miller's Landing or something like that, great barbecue. Also The Spot was superb as always. We had linguine in our room that evening and Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey and Cherry Garcia. I got some Chunky but the girls woofed the cherry. It was nice having a micro and fridge in the room. I much prefer relaxing over supper and how better to relax than stretched out in bed. We had to go to the Rain Forest Restaurant because they kept bringing it up and Cocky managed to go from 15.00 meals to, "let's split a sparkling volcano." So we did. However that requires being the center of attention because two of the staff present this giant brownie with ice cream on top and a sparkler sparking. They scream "Volcano" many times and all the animals make noises, quite a production. It is quite disney like and great for kids.

The ride back was long, 12 hours Friday counting lunch and another 8 on Saturday. We had a couple tense moments trying to find the right turns, I know I have a GPS Garmin and she did her best but I am directionally challenged and despite her efforts I could still drive past turns or turn right instead of left. Cocky was quite exasperated with me and didn't hide it. We finally devised a plan where I told her to tell me what to do and just to treat me like a total idiot. It worked well and we made it home. Now I am going to relax from the trip because I have another week off. Also Curly is coming to spend the night next week.

Sweet Rain

There is a place we can’t see
Where clouds are pink
And rain is sweet.

Where laughter sounds from the air
Much like the wind,
And bugs massage your tired skin.

There is a place where no pain lives
Where joy and peace can float
And down they come
Like a brand new coat.

Most days you sing but often dance
And when you wish you can fly

There is a place
Where distrust and hate are just antiques
Enclosed in glass upon a shelf

Jealousy a word no one can spell
Bitterness and revenge are in the dump
It is more fun to laugh and jump.

So just hang on and someday
We will find this place
And I will chase you up the tree.

Seet Rose

Ramblings from Houston

Well on the way to Memphis we saw about 5 cars and trucks and a boat trailer and pickup that were involved in a major ouchie. Looked like everyone was still alive but the vehicles would need the dents worked out. The second day we made Houston and were welcomed into my sister’s lovely home by her charming husband. They both seemed happy we were there and have managed to keep up this appearance so far. But I am sure like all visitors a sigh will emit when we drive out the driveway.

Alice still has a very sharp wit despite the damage MS has done to her body. She still laughs when you poke fun at her and she can still speak but with a very soft voice. We watched Happy Feet last night and she really enjoyed it. So did we. Yesterday was crawfish day. When we come my brother-in-law always gets crawfish and other seafood and we have a party. We got shrimp, mussels and sweet corn and along with steamed small potatoes, had a great meal. Oh yeah there was beer, apple pie and ice cream too. Not together but you get the idea.

Went out to get the water drained from the cooler which was in the trunk and when I closed the lid realized that the car was locked and the keys weren’t in my pocket. After some reflection, I could see them in the trunk. I had laid them down while moving the cooler and hadn’t picked them up. So after a call to my insurance agent and Pop a Lock we are back in business. My granddaughters just shook their heads and said something about the old folks home, but what do they know they don’t even drive yet. Meditation must be helping because I barely cussed when I realized what had happened.

Had an important aha this a.m. I was taking a walk thinking about my sister and how much trouble there is and then this squirrel ran in front of me and I swear he had a bubble above his head like in the funny papers that said, “Be here now.” Sure glad I saw him because that was where I went to, right here, right now. The rest of the morning was quite an improvement. Well onward and upward we are going on a tour of Houston or as close as we care to get.

Big Day is Almost here

Tomorrow is the beginning of our big adventure. The grandgirls and I are going to Houston and Galveston for spring break. I went to Florida once on spring break and I know how insane it is but I haven’t seen my youngest sister in 7 years and it is time. I am the sole driver and don’t look forward to that part. I will have company to keep me entertained and frustrated. (Are we there yet?) Yesterday I added traffic information to my Garmin GPS and the tech guy said he was from Houston and proceeded to tell me they do 80 on the freeways there, just what I wanted to hear. I refuse to white knuckle it. I will breathe and focus on the car in front of me.

There will be pictures and stories about the big adventure in subsequent blog entries.

Little Buddy

Well it has been some time since my little friend visited me but he is here again. I work at a preschool in the office as a family advocate. When the teacher has a problem with this little guy he comes to my room to sit on the floor and be bored. It is nap time and he prefers waking up the others rather than going to sleep. At first they were sending him home but I said that was probably his goal so I suggested he come down to my office and sit. So that is what he is doing. He now tells me that he is sleepy but I don’t see any evidence of that and he has already used that trick up.
The snow has begun to melt and we get a little sun now and then. I am looking forward to the end of March when I leave for Houston. My sister lives there and I haven’t seen her for 6 years. My two oldest grandgirls are going with me, they have spring break that week. It should be a hoot.
This has been a sad week at work we have had two people die. One of them was only 20 something. She was on dialysis but was always cheerful and active. It seems a shame to end life so soon, but then she may be in a better place.
Well it may be time for by buddy to nap he is lying down.

Cabin Fever

The weather has finally made me want spring really bad. I kind of wanted it before the cold came but I felt guilty wanting it because I thought it was warm already. Now I want it to warm up and I don’t feel a bit guilty. Hilda and Bernie are happier. (Our dogs) We have straw in their houses now and they seem quite content to sit there snuggled up and snoozing. I am getting really lonely for my grandgirls. We will have to have an overnite as soon as it warms up a bit.

The good thing about all this is that there is sun. Before it was cold it was gray a lot and rainy. We have many more sunny days now and even if it is below 0 at least it is sunny and bright. The other nice thing is that we were sent home from work Tuesday at 9:30 a.m. and didn’t have to return until Thursday a.m. Also we were paid for the time off. Now that was very nice. It gave me a glimpse into how retirement will be in the winter, unless we go south for a while.

My brother went south and likes to call me and rub it in on a weekly basis. He mentions things like he is in shorts and a tee shirt or it is going to 70 today. He said he felt trapped when the snow came because he couldn’t go home now until it melted. Poor baby!!

The forecast looks better for next week. Something about highs in the 30’s.

New Place

My blog is coming from a new place, I think it is some sunny beach somewhere. Yeah that's it. If I can't get anyone except my sweet loyal spouse to respond to my blog at least I can have a nice place to write in. According to the blog layout ad this should cause more people to view my blog because it will catch their eyes. Well we will see.

We have snow. It has been a long time getting here. It is colder here also. I don't remember waiting until mid January for snow my whole life and that is a lot of life. We had a brief one day melted snow earlier but nothing that seemed like winter. May be it is here at last.

Let me know what you think of the beach.

Even though I feel this is just going out into the blogosphere to float among other blogs and no one ever sees it, since I don't get comments, I am writing anyway. My meditation teacher would say that my ego is hurt and she would be right. I will let my conscience rule and write because I can. Who knows I might have something to say. Yesterday I went to a meeting with Mathew Flickstein who is getting funding to do a documentary for PBS about the world's religions. His premise is to show that even thought there are many religions in essence they all agree on the important stuff, or something like that. It was very refreshing to spend time with Matt. He was so honest and thoughtful. There was no pretense, no game playing. Very different from so many encounters. He gave us time to meditate and that evening I went to my yoga class which always ends with meditation. So yesterday I had two opportunities to be quiet. Today I noticed that it was easier to find a moment to be still and concentrate on my breath. It made me think about becoming more dedicated to daily meditation. I do it now but it consists of sitting in bed before going to sleep and I usually end it soon after I begin.

Yesterday was also my #3 grandgirl's birthday. She was bouncing around the house as usual. She liked the toy cell phone and outfit I gave her. After she played with it for a short time she asked, "Are there more presents?" What a kid. I think her birthday comes too close to Christmas.

Pray

I am very concerned about the future of this country. We have a very scary leader. He wants to keep this war going and he wants to kill more of our young men. A woman just called in to NPR to say her husband was called for service when he had been honorably discharged some years ago. Are they so desperate they will take anyone? Perhaps it was an error. I hope so. Possibly the only way to stop this insanity is to do what we did during Viet Nam. Peace marches. If we hit the streets in D.C. they will have to do something. The other possibility is to get Bush a psychiatrist. He probably wouldn't keep his appointments. I will pray that a ray of sanity penetrates his thick skull. We must all pray.